- \n
- Traditional:<\/strong> the classic vows, reworked in your own words (template in the article).<\/li>\n
- Structured:<\/strong> a solid plan \u2014 how you met, what they changed in you, what you promise.<\/li>\n
- Romantic:<\/strong> vows in verse.<\/li>\n
- Playful:<\/strong> a speech built around your dates and the numbers behind your story.<\/li>\n
- Shy:<\/strong> vows recorded on video in advance and played on the day.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Exchanging vows is as symbolic a moment as it is a dreaded one. It lets you honour the person you love and say exactly what you feel \u2014 and at the same time it pushes you well outside your comfort zone. Will you keep your composure, get past the nerves, and own your words in front of that many people?<\/p>\n
And above all: how do you write the speech that will floor your other half and everyone in the room?<\/p>\n
At moments like this, you\u2019d love to be one of those people who write easily, who find that perfect balance of humour and feeling with no apparent effort.<\/p>\n
But the only text longer than three lines you\u2019ve written in the past two years was the letter cancelling your phone contract \u2014 and even that was lifted wholesale from a template.<\/p>\n
So while a wedding speech is obviously meant to be unique and personal, there\u2019s nothing to stop you getting a bit of help with the writing and adapting it to your own personality<\/strong>. There\u2019s no harm in it. As the song goes, all you need is love \u2014 but a bit of inspiration doesn\u2019t hurt either.<\/p>\n
1. Want something classic? Go for traditional wedding vows<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Classic doesn\u2019t have to mean dull. You can work from a framework and add your own stamp, adjusting a ready-made text with a bit of care. You can even work in some humour.<\/p>\n
(The text below came straight out of our own heads. You\u2019re very welcome to it.)<\/em><\/p>\n
\n
\u00ab\u00a0I, (\u2026), take you, (\u2026), to be my husband\/wife. I promise to love you, to cherish you and to respect you, for the whole of our lives, for richer and for poorer. I promise to support you, in good times and in bad, to be your rock, and to have you as the one thing I couldn\u2019t do without.<\/em><\/p>\n
Today, in front of our friends and our family, I promise to celebrate our marriage every day as though it were the first.<\/em><\/p>\n
I loved you, I love you, and I will love you\u2026\u00a0\u00bb<\/em> (we may be traditional, but a line borrowed from a love song never hurt anyone)<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
2. Organised? Build a plan for a speech that holds together<\/strong><\/h3>\n
When you don\u2019t know where to start, and you can\u2019t work out how to arrange your ideas, the trick is to set out a framework: follow a plan, and it will let you develop what you want to say in the right order. No harder than a school essay, really.<\/p>\n
And happily, your other half should be rather more inspiring than an exam question on Descartes.<\/p>\n
- \n
- You can follow the thread of the relationship, for example:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
\u2013 How we met<\/strong><\/p>\n
\u2013 How our feelings and our relationship grew<\/strong><\/p>\n
\u2013 Where we are now<\/strong><\/p>\n
\u2013 How we see the future, together<\/strong><\/p>\n
(Again, the text below is entirely our own invention. If you borrow from it, do remember to change the dates and the names, or it could get awkward.)<\/em><\/p>\n
\n
\u00ab\u00a0It\u2019s 15 March 2018. The weather is filthy, the trains have been a nightmare and I\u2019m late to that party at Sam\u2019s. In short, it isn\u2019t going well. I walk into a flat I know inside out, with no idea that my life is about to change.<\/em><\/p>\n
And then I catch sight of you.<\/em><\/p>\n
You\u2019re laughing. I think you\u2019re radiant, and beautiful. I try my luck, which was far from a certainty, and somehow I come away with a date the following week. How lucky I was to have made you laugh that day.<\/em><\/p>\n
So we see each other again. And then it snowballs. I want to be with you all the time. All the time. I love everything about you: your strength, your determination, your generosity, the way you enjoy life. We\u2019re inseparable; we live, we dream, we travel together.<\/em><\/p>\n
Life is good with you. It doesn\u2019t take me long to make up my mind \u2014 it\u2019s obvious. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.<\/em><\/p>\n
Today, I\u2019m standing in front of you and everyone we love. There\u2019s nowhere else in the world I\u2019d rather be, and you\u2019ve made me the happiest man alive by making room for me at your side.<\/em><\/p>\n
I can\u2019t wait for the future with you, to grow old with you, to count our grey hairs together. I can\u2019t wait to watch our children grow up, and our grandchildren. I can\u2019t wait for all of this life with you.<\/em><\/p>\n
Let\u2019s not waste any time. Let\u2019s be happy together. I love you.\u00a0\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
- \n
- Another approach: ask yourself a few questions and, by answering them simply, you\u2019ll find it fairly easy to build a speech that sounds like you and reflects what you actually feel:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
\u2013 What did you feel when you met your other half?<\/strong><\/p>\n
\u2013 How do you feel when you\u2019re with them?<\/strong><\/p>\n
\u2013 Why did you take the plunge and decide to marry?<\/strong><\/p>\n
\u2013 How do you picture the two of you in 10 or 15 years\u2019 time?<\/strong><\/p>\n
![\"A](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.planners.fr\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/couple-emu-discours-mariage.png?w=580&ssl=1\")
<\/figure>\n3. Romantic? Write your speech in verse<\/strong><\/h3>\n
If you feel a poet stirring somewhere inside you, you can surprise the room with a poem, or even a spoken-word piece.<\/p>\n
You don\u2019t need to channel Shakespeare, and you certainly don\u2019t need to overdo it: being yourself is, once again, rule number one for wedding vows that land \u2014 verse or no verse.<\/p>\n
You might also think of a line or a quotation to open each stanza, something that sums up your story and gives the whole thing a rhythm.<\/p>\n
And for the less inspired, the great poets have said it rather well already:<\/p>\n
\n
How Do I Love Thee?, Elizabeth Barrett Browning<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n
\u00ab\u00a0How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.<\/em><\/p>\n
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height<\/em><\/p>\n
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight<\/em><\/p>\n
For the ends of being and ideal grace.<\/em><\/p>\n
I love thee to the level of every day\u2019s<\/em><\/p>\n
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.<\/em><\/p>\n
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.<\/em><\/p>\n
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.<\/em><\/p>\n
I love thee with the passion put to use<\/em><\/p>\n
In my old griefs, and with my childhood\u2019s faith.<\/em><\/p>\n
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose<\/em><\/p>\n
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,<\/em><\/p>\n
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,<\/em><\/p>\n
I shall but love thee better after death.\u00a0\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
4. Good with numbers? Build a speech out of dates and figures<\/strong><\/h3>\n
If you\u2019re an accountant, or you simply have a head for dates, numbers make a fine backbone for a speech that mixes feeling and humour rather neatly:<\/p>\n
(Again, the text below came out of our own overactive imaginations. If you borrow from it, do change the figures and the names so they fit your story \u2014 that goes without saying.)<\/em><\/p>\n
\n
\u00ab\u00a0Tom,<\/em><\/p>\n
You know I\u2019ve always loved numbers. So today I\u2019ve decided to share a few with you \u2014 the ones that, to my mind, sum up our story best:<\/em><\/p>\n
3,281<\/em><\/strong>: the number of days we\u2019ve already spent together.<\/em><\/p>\n
32<\/em><\/strong>: the number of glances I threw your way before I dared come and talk to you.<\/em><\/p>\n
10<\/em><\/strong>: the number of messages we send each other every day, to check the other one\u2019s day is going well, and to fill the gap we feel when we\u2019re apart, even for a few hours.<\/em><\/p>\n
116<\/em><\/strong>: the number of arguments about whose turn it is to do the washing-up.<\/em><\/p>\n
10,814<\/em><\/strong>: the number of times I\u2019ve thought how handsome you are.<\/em><\/p>\n
2,600<\/em><\/strong>: the number of your terrible jokes I\u2019ve laughed at, usually against my better judgement.<\/em><\/p>\n
89<\/em><\/strong>: the number of times I\u2019ve woken you in the night to go and check there was nobody in the house.<\/em><\/p>\n
And then a date, among others: that<\/em> 6 March 2021<\/em><\/strong>, the day you asked me to spend the rest of my life with you. And finally <\/em>327<\/em><\/strong>: the number of times I\u2019ve thought how glad I am that I said yes.<\/em><\/p>\n
Today, on this <\/em>8 May 2022<\/em><\/strong>, I\u2019m saying it <\/em>once<\/em><\/strong>, in front of witnesses: I love you, and I will for the <\/em>tens of thousands of days<\/em><\/strong> we\u2019re going to spend together.\u00a0\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
5. Shy? Record your vows in advance<\/strong><\/h3>\n
A wedding speech is a lovely thing, but there\u2019s no need to make yourself ill for weeks beforehand because you\u2019re dreading speaking up \u2014 even in front of family and friends. There\u2019s a great deal to manage on the day, and it should stay enjoyable for you.<\/p>\n
Several options let you avoid disappointing your partner without having to stammer your way through it in public:<\/p>\n
- \n
- Record your speech in advance and play it as your other half arrives at the ceremony.<\/li>\n
- Do it Love Actually<\/em>-style, declaring your love on a stack of cards held up one by one in front of your guests.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
And all of it set to music, to add to a moment<\/strong> that will, we\u2019re quite sure, stay with everybody there.<\/p>\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In brief: how do you write your wedding vows? Good vows run to a minute or two and combine a personal story, a sincere promise and a touch of humour. You don\u2019t need to be a writer: start from a framework and shape it to your own personality. This article sets out five approaches, with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5312","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-non-classe"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.planners.fr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5312","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.planners.fr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.planners.fr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.planners.fr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.planners.fr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5312"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.planners.fr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5312\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.planners.fr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5312"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.planners.fr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5312"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.planners.fr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5312"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
- Another approach: ask yourself a few questions and, by answering them simply, you\u2019ll find it fairly easy to build a speech that sounds like you and reflects what you actually feel:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- Structured:<\/strong> a solid plan \u2014 how you met, what they changed in you, what you promise.<\/li>\n